100 things
Tuesday, May. 13, 2003 @ 10:01 a.m.
Here is a proper “100 things” list to supplement my “10,000 things”:1. I have been an atheist since I was old enough to think rationally.
2. I try to be a Taoist and a Buddhist.
3. It is possible to be both of those and not believe in god.
4. Most of the time I am too hot-headed to be good at either.
5. I am told most little girls daydream about their wedding.
6. I never did that, ever.
7. So I don’t think I am meant for marriage.
8. I have also never wanted to have children.
9. Ever.
10. Even when I was a little kid I knew I didn’t want any.
11. People who don’t even know me tell me I’ll change my mind.
12. I find that both rude and ignorant.
13. So I ignore them.
14. Because they’re obviously idiots.
15. When I refer to “the ‘rents”, 99% of the time I mean my mother and step-father.
16. My mother and father got divorced when I was 2.
17. My step-father was a more than adequate replacement for my biological father.
18. The ‘rents got married when I was 8.
19. The ceremony was outside in Big Trees National Monument.
20. That’s a sequoia forest.
21. Hikers kept wandering through the ceremony.
22. My mother is a recovering Catholic and my step-dad a non-practicing Jew.
23. The ceremony was officiated by a Southern Baptist minister.
24. My mother found that hilarious.
25. My mother has been married 3 times.
26. None of her weddings were conventional.
27. The first time she was 15.
28. She was running away from home.
29. She was married by a justice of the peace.
30. When she married my father it was in Reno.
31. Third time was the charm for her.
32. She did not get married at 15 because she was pregnant.
33. It pisses me off when people assume that.
34. She didn’t have her first kid until she was 27.
35. That’s really late for a woman of her generation.
36. It’s late for a woman of my generation.
37. I am allergic to aspirin.
38. It causes my stomach to bleed.
39. I found that out the hard way.
40. I love vodka.
41. I have never had a drink that had vodka in it that I didn’t like.
42. I don’t like it straight though.
43. The only booze I like straight is tequila.
44. Good tequila, not cheap shit.
45. I love to do the salt-shot-lime thing with it.
46. And I like to chase it with 7-Up.
47. I hate gin.
48. It tastes like poison and smells like rotten Christmas trees.
49. I have met a lot of musicians throughout my life.
50. Most of that was due to my sister.
51. She has worked in the music business since college.
52. In many different capacities.
53. I was backstage at the first 3 Lollapaloozas.
54. At the second one Ice Cube bumped into me on the way back to his trailer.
55. He called me a “stupid white bitch”.
56. At the time I was mad.
57. But now I think it’s amusing.
58. My sister isn’t really my sister.
59. She’s my step-sister.
60. But neither of us has biological sisters.
61. So we think of ourselves as just sisters.
62. She usually introduces me to people as her sister.
63. A lot of the time people will say that we look alike.
64. We find that funny.
65. Especially when we correct them.
66. Whenever anyone asks me for a book to recommend I always tell them Fast Food Nation by Eric Schlosser.
67. You should read it.
68. Prepare to be really grossed out.
69. I ate Altoids back in high school.
70. Before anyone else.
71. They taste kind of weak to me now.
72. The strongest mint I have ever tasted is Starbucks’ after-coffee mints.
73. I hate Starbucks’ coffee.
74. I will go into the store just to get a tin of mints and nothing else.
75. I was born and raised in the San Francisco Bay Area.
76. I still live in the town I was born in.
77. I like it and have no immediate plans to leave it.
78. But I sort of think of myself as a displaced Southerner.
79. My mother’s mother is a Cajun.
80. From Louisiana.
81. Obviously.
82. My mother’s father was originally from the hills of Virginia.
83. His neighbors were the Falwells.
84. The family of televangelist Jerry Falwell.
85. They ran shine during Prohibition.
86. That means they were bootleggers.
87. Grandpa never knew his real father.
88. His parents were never married.
89. Because his father already had a wife.
90. He came into the hills to escape a murder rap.
91. He was also a horse thief.
92. He disappeared one night.
93. We’re pretty sure he was murdered.
94. Grandpa didn’t have a name until he was 6.
95. They just called him “boy”.
96. The midwife who delivered him wanted to name him “Sweet Apple”.
97. Granny’s name came off a tombstone her parents saw.
98. I did this list in under an hour.
99. I could easily do another.
100. I have a lot of stuff to say.